Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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