Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
