sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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