then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
