Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just high enough for therapy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
