i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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