koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
