oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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