That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
