You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
