I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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