Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
