Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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