I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
