I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
