I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
