You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
