im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
