I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
