"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
