saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
too bad you live with your parents still
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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