Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
