i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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