You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
