If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So many bounce houses so little time
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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