Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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