talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
