I'm sorry my penis didn't work
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
