She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
