So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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