I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
