he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
