Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize