booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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