areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
