I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
