I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
