I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
