1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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