you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
