I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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