whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
