Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
