We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
