We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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