Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
