he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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