Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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