She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize