He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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