Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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