Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
