i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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