So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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