i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
