he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
