Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
