my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
