So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
