I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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